The Rembrandts - I'll Be There For You (1995)

*1/2 (of four)




Wow, what an awkward, annoying video this is. You might not be old enough to remember, or you just might have been plain off the Top 40 page at the time. But ten years ago, this full version of the "Friends" theme song got played once an hour every fucking single place you went, no matter where you went. And, if you've forgotten, well, you're a fortunate soul.

Here's what happened - this struggling group of perky musicians was lucky enough to have this puff of utter treacle picked as theme to a major sitcom. The "Friends" people were lucky enough to have their show blow up as a major hit. Some radio programmer was lucky enough to think to home-tape the minute-long version of "I'll Be There For You" and singlehandedly put it into rotation.

The record company was lucky enough to get asked by countless other radio stations for a full-length single of the song, which had been limitedly released several years prior and promptly sunk without a trace. The song was lucky enough to shoot straight to #1. And the rest of us were unlucky enough to then hear it several thousand times in 1995 and beyond.

"I'll Be There For You" became a surprise hit, and the video was a total rush job. On a white soundstage decorated with black geometric shapes (a triangle AND a hexagon on the same set! after Labor Day!), the Rembrandts, all in black and white suits and wearing sunglasses, perform while the entire "Friends" ensemble cast improvises physical comedy antics around them.

Maybe it's intentional for the sake of "humor," or maybe it's because these guys have never been in the spotlight, but the band looks agitated and sometimes downright pissed off the entire time. The whole affair stinks to high heaven.

COMPLETE ROSTER OF
"FRIENDS" THEME VIDEO
SIDE-SPLITTING HUMOR

Printed here as a service
for future sitcom stars who
might find themselves
acting in a music video
for their show's theme song.

If you're ever in this situation, folks,
these all go on the future-reference
DON'T DO LIST:

-Courteney Cox gives piggyback ride to Matthew Perry

-David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston dance tango

-Aniston and Cox each steal a pair of sunglasses from guitar players, trade with each other

-Perry runs and hides behind hexagon

-Perry and Matt LeBlanc begin to dance tango, look at each other as if the same-sex dancing is awkward, shrug off notion, continue dancing tango

-Schwimmer pokes around piano player's sheet music, gets hand smacked away

-Aniston gazes into tambourine as if it were a mirror and she a vain, vain lady

-LeBlanc and Shwimmer come up behind piano player, lift him out of his chair, carry him away

-Perry feigns injury to own hip with tambourine

-LeBlanc and Schwimmer sit down at piano bench, decide they can't play, pick up comically small bongo drums instead

-Cox and Aniston give guitar guys reacharounds, grope their instruments

-Cox knocks out drummer with drummer's own sticks, takes over timekeeping duties

-Kudrow heads behind hexagon with third guitarist, emerges with his guitar strapped to her, proceeds to mime like she's playing it with her teeth

-Schwimmer operates camera

-Perry pretends to play acoustic guitar face down

-Aniston operates other camera

-Kudrow does spastic dance with tambourine

-Show lasts another nine seasons, spawns successful season-on-DVD-for-forty-bucks merchandise line

-Rembrandts sell kidneys for gas-bill money

-Ha

-Ha

-That's

-True

-Comedy