Brie Larson - She Said
*1/2 (out of four)
This teen pop stuff is way worse since I quit writing these reviews. I mean, yes, we've always had to deal with these here-today, gone-yesterday mini-diva artists with their synthesized pop, but I wasn't always in my late twenties when I had to deal with it. It's derivative, it's interchangeable, and it will go away. I can't help but wonder at which point this song was played during the two hours of Radio Disney my TiVo decided to record for my consideration sometime overnight last night.
Brie Larson is one such mini-diva of the moment, easy to look at in a generic way with a voice that doesn't really stand out. She spends the duration of the video trapped behind the counter of a no-name fast food restaurant, helping a succession of Abercrombie-model customers from the pair of snooty bitches who each insist on having sweet-and-sour AND honey mustard sauces with their chicken nuggets (one or the other, you filthy whores!) to the, like, totally cute guy with the '70s perm, thick sunglasses and Napoleon Dynamite "Vote For Pedro" novelty t-shirt on. He must piss old Brie off in some way, because seconds after giving him his order, she leaps over the counter, jumps on his back and causes him to crash to the floor, landing novelty t-shirt down in his supersized #3 meal.
After five viewings of the video, I'm not sure which part I like better - the slo-mo shots of Brie running through the stock room and knocking over an entire three-metal-shelf stash of red and white food baskets or the sequence that has Brie strumming a red guitar that matches her paper fast food uniform hat. Then the director just gets lazy and includes two straight minutes of neon-lit soundstage performance footage. The cumulative effect is neither obnoxious or memorable, but Brie - however old she is - is one smoking hot little mama.
So here's the problem with this shit - not that they've sexualized these teenage girls who used to at least be seventeen when they came up. I don't mind the sexualization; some of these videos are great with the volume turned off. It's the fact that a lot of them aren't even seventeen anymore. They can make a thirteen-year-old pop star look completely delectable and downright edible these days - look at that JoJo girl. I had no idea she was in seventh grade the first time I saw her video. All I saw was a TRL superstar who would not get kicked out of my bed for the consumption of crackers.
NOTE: This review written March 8, 2005
This teen pop stuff is way worse since I quit writing these reviews. I mean, yes, we've always had to deal with these here-today, gone-yesterday mini-diva artists with their synthesized pop, but I wasn't always in my late twenties when I had to deal with it. It's derivative, it's interchangeable, and it will go away. I can't help but wonder at which point this song was played during the two hours of Radio Disney my TiVo decided to record for my consideration sometime overnight last night.
Brie Larson is one such mini-diva of the moment, easy to look at in a generic way with a voice that doesn't really stand out. She spends the duration of the video trapped behind the counter of a no-name fast food restaurant, helping a succession of Abercrombie-model customers from the pair of snooty bitches who each insist on having sweet-and-sour AND honey mustard sauces with their chicken nuggets (one or the other, you filthy whores!) to the, like, totally cute guy with the '70s perm, thick sunglasses and Napoleon Dynamite "Vote For Pedro" novelty t-shirt on. He must piss old Brie off in some way, because seconds after giving him his order, she leaps over the counter, jumps on his back and causes him to crash to the floor, landing novelty t-shirt down in his supersized #3 meal.
After five viewings of the video, I'm not sure which part I like better - the slo-mo shots of Brie running through the stock room and knocking over an entire three-metal-shelf stash of red and white food baskets or the sequence that has Brie strumming a red guitar that matches her paper fast food uniform hat. Then the director just gets lazy and includes two straight minutes of neon-lit soundstage performance footage. The cumulative effect is neither obnoxious or memorable, but Brie - however old she is - is one smoking hot little mama.
So here's the problem with this shit - not that they've sexualized these teenage girls who used to at least be seventeen when they came up. I don't mind the sexualization; some of these videos are great with the volume turned off. It's the fact that a lot of them aren't even seventeen anymore. They can make a thirteen-year-old pop star look completely delectable and downright edible these days - look at that JoJo girl. I had no idea she was in seventh grade the first time I saw her video. All I saw was a TRL superstar who would not get kicked out of my bed for the consumption of crackers.
NOTE: This review written March 8, 2005
posted by daytime at 7:36 AM
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