Sean Paul - We Be Burnin' (2005)

** (of four)

Wow, so this ragga-dancehall assclown gets another album, does he? For the curious, no, I won't be first in line to buy Dutty Rock II - in fact, I'll give twenty bucks to anyone who can distinguish this Sean Paul single from entries previous. It sounds the freakin' same. (One-trick pony, sir!) So if this dutty ditty seems at all different to you, go ahead and send a 3" x 5" postcard with your name and address on it to my nonexistent P.O. Box, and that twenty bucks is as good as yours. Hand to God.

The "We Be Burnin'" (you don't think he's talking about... *gasp* marijuana, do you?!) video puts Sean and three jockey-dressed girl dancers smack in in the middle of an anonymous Middle Eastern desert. While a jean jacket-wearing Sean lip synches and flails his arms, the trio of girls dances behind him, kicking sand up their glistening legs, rolling around on the ground and bringing a brand new form of camel toe to the Arab world. See, over there, "camel toe" usually actually refers to the toe of a camel, not lingerie-imprint vagina lips. But both are equally sexy to them.

Director Jessy Terrero also cuts to a sparse indoor set with Sean synching and flailing in front of four garbage trucks that are adorned with flashing multi-colored flourescent carnival lights. A pickup truck with six flamethrowers shows up at the desert shoot once the sun goes down, and the video still doesn't get cool.

Nah, things don't improve until the cast of the movie Jarhead arrives on the scene to blow the fuck out of Sean Paul and Co. as part of President George W. Bush's new Congress-unapproved freedom mission. That's Operation Ragga-Dancehall Assclown Get Rid-Of. For once, I don't even mind the waste of my tax dollars.