Go West - King of Wishful Thinking (1990)

*1/2 (of four)


Thanks for coming to the pitch meeting, everyone. Now imagine, if you will, this mish-mash of ideas: we're gonna make a music video on a plain white soundstage, and we're gonna cram as many people, costumes and animals into the shots with the band as we can think of. None of it will serve a plot or really make any sense whatsoever. But we're gonna need a lot of extras.

First of all, this song's from the Pretty Woman soundtrack, so we'll need a Julia Roberts look-alike dressed up in that same spandex hooker costume. We'll need a Mexican mariachi band, some paparazzi, and a crossing guard. Oh, and there's some synth horn in here, so let's get a Louie Armstrong lookalike to play those three notes.

We did some screen tests, and the rhythm guitar player is sorely lacking in charisma, so let's walk a zebra or two in front of him to distract the viewers. How about some ballet dancers and hockey players and a Roy Orbison doppelganger while we're at it? We're gonna need some movie company executives and a guy in a pope suit.

And the lead singer, the guy who looks like Richard Jeni, make sure he sings into a giant silver wrench at one point. Since this song is called "King of Wishful Thinking," let's get an actual dude in a king costume with a big fake beard. And don't forget the circus elephant - he can hang out with the Elvis impersonator. I'd really also like to get a shot of early '80s SNL producer Dick Ebersol in a red sweater playing guitar.

Ah, brilliant, brilliant. Read that back to me, will ya?