Britney Spears - Do Somethin'
*1/2 (out of four)
Yes, I confess that since my last birthday I'm officially in my late 20s now, but one thing that makes me feel downright old is that Britney Spears already has a greatest hits album. Why, it seems like just yesterday that I turned on MTV and first saw the video for "Baby One More Time."
I remember fondly how I watched the still-kinda-innocent teen pop singer dance around a high school hallway in a pleated Catholic school girl skirt and stroked myself to orgasm before the end of the second chorus had even rolled around. And now she's got a greatest hits - Christ, how the time flies. It flies kinda like spunk when you're stroking yourself in time to the image of a certain Southern TRL superstar.
For you pervs out there, "Do Somethin'" does feature its share of Britney writhing and working her body in belly shirts and, subtlety be damned, sleek black undergarments. It's got the stuff Stuff magazine photospreads are made of, and Britney spends the video hanging with an equally hot quartet of blonde hotties. But the whole thing is ludicrous, inside and out, disposable and not at all meant to be taken seriously.
For starters, the opening sequence features Britney in the girls riding around the clouds in a pink Hummer, while singing "Somebody pass my guitar / So I can look like a star." The chick in the passenger seat hands Britney a guitar, which she poses with for a half-second before pushing it away. Sucks - I was all primed to hear her rip out the opening chords of "Smoke on the Water." Those beginner lessons have to pay off sometime.
The pink Hummer in the clouds shit soon gives way to a hole in the wall that's actually called Hole in the Wall. Where Britney and the girls dance on stage for an appreciative crowd of Abercrombie boys and later set up their instruments (!) to perform the song in question.
The whole thing reeks of the sparse throwaway material that's usually tacked onto a greatest hits album to entice fans who already own the artists' other albums to purchase this one too. First came Britney's remake of "My Prerogative," now this Avril Lavigne/Pink-sounding glam pop shit. I remain thoroughly unenticed, though my eyes can't help but be glued to the screen anyway.
Yes, I confess that since my last birthday I'm officially in my late 20s now, but one thing that makes me feel downright old is that Britney Spears already has a greatest hits album. Why, it seems like just yesterday that I turned on MTV and first saw the video for "Baby One More Time."
I remember fondly how I watched the still-kinda-innocent teen pop singer dance around a high school hallway in a pleated Catholic school girl skirt and stroked myself to orgasm before the end of the second chorus had even rolled around. And now she's got a greatest hits - Christ, how the time flies. It flies kinda like spunk when you're stroking yourself in time to the image of a certain Southern TRL superstar.
For you pervs out there, "Do Somethin'" does feature its share of Britney writhing and working her body in belly shirts and, subtlety be damned, sleek black undergarments. It's got the stuff Stuff magazine photospreads are made of, and Britney spends the video hanging with an equally hot quartet of blonde hotties. But the whole thing is ludicrous, inside and out, disposable and not at all meant to be taken seriously.
For starters, the opening sequence features Britney in the girls riding around the clouds in a pink Hummer, while singing "Somebody pass my guitar / So I can look like a star." The chick in the passenger seat hands Britney a guitar, which she poses with for a half-second before pushing it away. Sucks - I was all primed to hear her rip out the opening chords of "Smoke on the Water." Those beginner lessons have to pay off sometime.
The pink Hummer in the clouds shit soon gives way to a hole in the wall that's actually called Hole in the Wall. Where Britney and the girls dance on stage for an appreciative crowd of Abercrombie boys and later set up their instruments (!) to perform the song in question.
The whole thing reeks of the sparse throwaway material that's usually tacked onto a greatest hits album to entice fans who already own the artists' other albums to purchase this one too. First came Britney's remake of "My Prerogative," now this Avril Lavigne/Pink-sounding glam pop shit. I remain thoroughly unenticed, though my eyes can't help but be glued to the screen anyway.
posted by daytime at 5:43 AM
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