Ricky Martin featuring Fat Joe and Amerie - I Don't Care
*1/2 (of four)
Wow, everyone's favorite fruity, closeted 1999 Latin pop sensation is trying to make a comeback. Silly Ricky, trying to light the TRL crowd on fire. All of your original fans are off at universities somewhere, reading Proust and indulging in girl-girl experimentation. The tweenage record-buying public today will probably see right through this shit. The fact that it's called "I Don't Care" even further proves my point through simple, unknowing (I hope) irony.
It should be noted upfront, though, that "I Don't Care" could have been shopped around to practically any male pop or R+B performer and have sounded exactly alike. Martin is an anonymous set of vocal cords in a production that also includes an Amerie verse, a Fat Joe verse, a chorus that sounds straight out of a Nelly song and some Neptunes-imitation production from Dr. Dre's second-favorite white guy, Scott Storch. When Martin does get to sing a verse in his own song, he pulls out that same old Jon Secada delivery he used to coast on. Generic, generic, generic.
Ricky's bumming over a girl who cheated on him. He gave her a ring, thought he was going to marry her, then walked in on some other guy pounding her ("He had your feet up over the seat / All I heard was screaming"). He gasped, felt an utter sense of betrayal and then slowly, against his will, got a hard-on looking at the new guy's metrosexually shaved ass cheeks. He sings about that with the same old Jon Secada delivery, too, by the way.
The "I Don't Care" video, from veteran director Diane Martel, is just as forgettable as the song itself - black-and-white macho-attempt lip synching from Martin. Who is seen, at various times, leaning against a graffiti-saturated brick wall, sitting sideways on the driver's seat of a classic convertible, dancing with fly girls and singing with conviction into Amerie's lower thigh and knee. Trust me, I'm trying to figure that last one out, too.
Amerie actually has a dramatic moment during Fat Joe's verse, when he's rapping directly to her about her infidelity while she pretends to cry and her mascara streaks down her face. The mascara, by the way, is Revlon Ebony Dynamite, and was supplied to Amerie by one Richard Martin.
Click here for more amusing, anonymous comments about the "I Don't Care" single and video.
NOTE: The MTV censors have been utterly against the word "ho" since around 1994, but apparently it's okay to call a woman a "slut." Other chopped words and phrases include, "fo' fo' fo'" and "dead." Which I really didn't think was that offensive since it's less about murdering someone than commenting on the state of Ricky Martin's career.
Wow, everyone's favorite fruity, closeted 1999 Latin pop sensation is trying to make a comeback. Silly Ricky, trying to light the TRL crowd on fire. All of your original fans are off at universities somewhere, reading Proust and indulging in girl-girl experimentation. The tweenage record-buying public today will probably see right through this shit. The fact that it's called "I Don't Care" even further proves my point through simple, unknowing (I hope) irony.
It should be noted upfront, though, that "I Don't Care" could have been shopped around to practically any male pop or R+B performer and have sounded exactly alike. Martin is an anonymous set of vocal cords in a production that also includes an Amerie verse, a Fat Joe verse, a chorus that sounds straight out of a Nelly song and some Neptunes-imitation production from Dr. Dre's second-favorite white guy, Scott Storch. When Martin does get to sing a verse in his own song, he pulls out that same old Jon Secada delivery he used to coast on. Generic, generic, generic.
Ricky's bumming over a girl who cheated on him. He gave her a ring, thought he was going to marry her, then walked in on some other guy pounding her ("He had your feet up over the seat / All I heard was screaming"). He gasped, felt an utter sense of betrayal and then slowly, against his will, got a hard-on looking at the new guy's metrosexually shaved ass cheeks. He sings about that with the same old Jon Secada delivery, too, by the way.
The "I Don't Care" video, from veteran director Diane Martel, is just as forgettable as the song itself - black-and-white macho-attempt lip synching from Martin. Who is seen, at various times, leaning against a graffiti-saturated brick wall, sitting sideways on the driver's seat of a classic convertible, dancing with fly girls and singing with conviction into Amerie's lower thigh and knee. Trust me, I'm trying to figure that last one out, too.
Amerie actually has a dramatic moment during Fat Joe's verse, when he's rapping directly to her about her infidelity while she pretends to cry and her mascara streaks down her face. The mascara, by the way, is Revlon Ebony Dynamite, and was supplied to Amerie by one Richard Martin.
Click here for more amusing, anonymous comments about the "I Don't Care" single and video.
NOTE: The MTV censors have been utterly against the word "ho" since around 1994, but apparently it's okay to call a woman a "slut." Other chopped words and phrases include, "fo' fo' fo'" and "dead." Which I really didn't think was that offensive since it's less about murdering someone than commenting on the state of Ricky Martin's career.
posted by daytime at 9:58 PM
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