Thursday, April 20, 2006

The Jets - Crush on You (1986)

* (of four)



I was the child of a single working parent, so I spent all my elementary school summers at a Christian day camp. We'd climb into that non-airconditioned yellow bus every afternoon and head out to the park or zoo or bowling alley or skating rink. The last location is where I first (and second and third and fourth, etc.) heard "Crush on You" by The Jets. It was in heavy rink rotation at the time, along with "Bad Boy" and "What Have You Done For Me Lately," and I remember Donna, the little girl with Down Syndrome, singing it straight to my brother. With feeling.

Appropriately enough, this is one retarded-ass song and video, and it hasn't aged well. The Jets were a teenage Samoan family act - I've given up counting, but there are at least eight of them. The boys all sport the DeBarge geri-curl look, while the girls have color-coordinated sweaters, leotards and sport coats purchased from the wardrobe closet after the sitcom "Square Pegs" was canceled. (Sarah Jessica Parker superfans will know what I'm talking about.) One of them is wearing a bolo. Another sports a pair of purple Converse.

"Crush on You" is one of those videos where, if you've seen the first 30 seconds, you've seen the whole thing. (Shit, the backing track of the song never changes either, so if you've heard 30 seconds, you've heard the whole thing.) It's filmed on one vast but sparse soundstage with a black backdrop, haphazardly placed scaffolding and a few lopsided red flourescent light bumbs. Occasionally, the bass player tries to look tough while lip synching the chorus into the camera. It doesn't work out too well for him.

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