Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Fat Joe - So Much More

** (out of four)

I don't know why exactly, but Fat Joe always reminds me of a Grade A jumbo farm-fresh egg. He definitely has that Humpty Dumpty thing going on, and it's too bad his mentor and pal Big Punisher died so prematurely - when standing next to Pun in their videos, Fat Joe actually looked kinda skinny.

Surrounded by music video rental hotties and, in "So Much More," an inexplicable Flavor Flav cameo, Fat Joe looms large. Director R. Malcolm Jones even has him rapping while holding what appears to be a foot-and-a-half -long hot dog while in front of a food stand. So much for subtlety.

There's not much to the "So Much More" video. Fat Joe wanders the streets of the city, walks through a party, gets the hot dog, drives around town. The best shots are closeups of Joe rapping under a flourescent black-light effect with shock-white contacts making his eyes look evil as hell. And of course there's the trademark introduction of a second, unrelated song for the last minute of the video.

Strangest is the interlude sequence that takes place in a subway car. Joe's making out with a very lucky blonde (he met her - no joke - in front of the hot dog stand) when a gender-mixed trio of thugs tries to steal his lady's purse. Joe pulls his tongue out of the blonde's mouth, asks them what the problem is, and they give back the purse when they recognize who they're robbing. Then Fat Joe reaches into his pocket, pulls out an enormous rubber-banded roll of hundreds, tosses it to the would-be thieves, and offers them all jobs.

As for the song itself, "So Much More" doesn't have many of the qualities that made "Lean Back" such a smash hit. The beat's not bad, but the chorus sucks - it's an off-key interpolation of the bridge from 2Pac's "Temptations" (which was, I'm sure, stolen from a third source), and there are way, way too many words cut out. An entire line is missing from the video, and the closed-captioning has nothing but "- - - - - - - - -" mystery hyphens.

Also, I didn't know this, but apparently Fat Joe's nickname is Crack. Maybe he's named after the drug, maybe after his crack skills on the microphone, or just maybe it's for the solid 22 inches of ass crack he sports. Who the hell knows.

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