Juice Newton - Queen of Hearts
* (of four)
Juice Newton is some kinda scamp, I'll tell ya whut. In the 1981 video for "Queen of Hearts," which is set in like 1881, Juice hitches a ride on a coal-powered locomotive while dressed as a streetwalker. The locomotive is actually like four-feet high and looks like one of the more unexciting rides at a frontier-themed amusement park. But Juice mugs it up to the camera anyway, turning back and waving with a big smile on her face as she rides off sitting next to the well-dressed, bearded conductor.
This is just the beginning of Juice Newton's escapade. When she arrives in town, she pushes the same well-dressed, bearded gentleman on a rope swing suspended from a tree branch. Pushes him too hard, in fact, causing him to fall off and Juice to mug for the camera like, Ooops, didn't mean to do that. Cut to Juice stepping into a prison cell while a row of bars swings shut behind her. Juice mugs for the camera again like, Ooops, shit happens.
By the next verse, Juice has made bail and she's robbing a stagecoach driven by the same well-dressed, bearded gentleman. Cut to the same row of prison bars shutting behind her, with Juice mugging for the camera big-time like, Ooops, back in jail again, for armed robbery this time. I'm such a naughty, naughty girl. Then, after berating the bearded man for hopping into bed with too many different girls while he's in a relationship, Juice hops in bed with him. And lands her nightgown-clad ass right back in jail. Cue identical Ooops mug.
I'm not sure if this is officially considered plot so much as just a series of disconnected All's fair in love and war sequences. They're all too short to officially make sense, and the video spends way too much time cutting from Juice and her bearded guy in the Old West to Juice and the same bearded guy performing "Queen of Hearts" on a soundstage in present-era 1981. And don't forget the liberally dispensed shots of a pair of hands dealing cards. One guess which card keeps popping up. What a mess, and here I am writing 350 words about it at 6:38 a.m. on a Wednesday, 24 years after this trivial little pop song and piss-poor video was released.
Juice Newton is some kinda scamp, I'll tell ya whut. In the 1981 video for "Queen of Hearts," which is set in like 1881, Juice hitches a ride on a coal-powered locomotive while dressed as a streetwalker. The locomotive is actually like four-feet high and looks like one of the more unexciting rides at a frontier-themed amusement park. But Juice mugs it up to the camera anyway, turning back and waving with a big smile on her face as she rides off sitting next to the well-dressed, bearded conductor.
This is just the beginning of Juice Newton's escapade. When she arrives in town, she pushes the same well-dressed, bearded gentleman on a rope swing suspended from a tree branch. Pushes him too hard, in fact, causing him to fall off and Juice to mug for the camera like, Ooops, didn't mean to do that. Cut to Juice stepping into a prison cell while a row of bars swings shut behind her. Juice mugs for the camera again like, Ooops, shit happens.
By the next verse, Juice has made bail and she's robbing a stagecoach driven by the same well-dressed, bearded gentleman. Cut to the same row of prison bars shutting behind her, with Juice mugging for the camera big-time like, Ooops, back in jail again, for armed robbery this time. I'm such a naughty, naughty girl. Then, after berating the bearded man for hopping into bed with too many different girls while he's in a relationship, Juice hops in bed with him. And lands her nightgown-clad ass right back in jail. Cue identical Ooops mug.
I'm not sure if this is officially considered plot so much as just a series of disconnected All's fair in love and war sequences. They're all too short to officially make sense, and the video spends way too much time cutting from Juice and her bearded guy in the Old West to Juice and the same bearded guy performing "Queen of Hearts" on a soundstage in present-era 1981. And don't forget the liberally dispensed shots of a pair of hands dealing cards. One guess which card keeps popping up. What a mess, and here I am writing 350 words about it at 6:38 a.m. on a Wednesday, 24 years after this trivial little pop song and piss-poor video was released.
posted by daytime at 6:46 AM
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