Thursday, May 11, 2006

Stray Cats - Sexy and 17 (1983)

**1/2 (of four)

Years back, when I worked as a movie theater usher, one of the off-duty security cops would spend entire shifts telling us the age-of-consent laws for different states. Hawaii? Eighteen. Arizona? Sixteen. North Dakota? Four and a half.* It was from this perverted-ass cop that I learned my home state, Missouri, allows men of any age to stick it to seventeen year olds. So it's not at all creepy for me to call up the local '80s radio station and dedicate this Stray Cats song to "the entire eleventh grade girls' gym class at Parkway North." Not creepy in the slightest.

"Sexy and 17" comes from the infancy of MTV, and as such it's full of all the overdrawn sight gags and wooden choreography of Reagan Administration-era videos. The funniest shit, for reasons intended and unintended, is at the beginning, when the leather-jacket-and-undershirt-wearing Stray Cat rockabilly rebels pop up in a prep school class. Brian Setzer and the boys are sitting among a roomful of lookalike shirt-and-tie student automotons, as they (i.e. the Cats) taunt the old lady teacher, who keeps turning around just as they duck back behind the automotons. Poor, befuddled lady. She's just trying to teach a geometry lesson.

The rest of the "Sexy and 17" video shows the Stray Cats spreading mayhem around the stately old prep school, culminating in a locker-slamming brawl between the Cats and the Squares. There's also concert footage from inside a bar, and there's Setzer's love interest "Marie," who is first seen from behind, brushing her teeth and wearing nothing but one black stocking and some skimp-ass underwear. If you've got a TiVo, go ahead and freeze frame this stuff. I'll wait, don't worry. Not creepy in the slightest.

* = Yeah, keep your kids away from North Dakota. They do things different up there.


Post a Comment

<< Home