Toby Keith - Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (2002)
A lot of liberal people hate Toby Keith. Me, I'm pretty liberal, and I think Toby's kinda entertaining sometimes. Steal "If I Was Jesus" or "The Critic" off the Internet if you don't believe me. But Toby's one lowest-common-denominator, pandering-ass S.O.B. too, and he uses incredibly cheap tricks to stir up blind patriotism. There's no more prime example than this knee-jerk, post-9/11 We're Gonna Kick Yer Bearded Brown Ass cut from the album Unleashed, which actually has a drawing of a doghouse on the front.*
Normally, superduper trite and clunky lyrics like this make me laugh, but the sheer ethnocentric arrogance of "Courtesy" half-pisses me off. (Then I take a deep breath and picture, as Toby suggests, the Statue of Liberty shaking her fist at the towelheads, and I'm back in a decent mood.) But Toby doesn't need a conscience - he has the support of every trailer-dwelling, beer-swilling waterhead in America, and apparently they all have enough disposable cash to snatch up millions of this fucker's albums from the Super Wal-Mart's electronics store.
That means no artistic effort was necessary for the "Courtesy" video - the lyrics and sentiment alone seal the deal. So Toby spends the duration standing front and center on a concert stage, flabby arms protruding from his black sleeveless shirt and red, white and blue acoustic guitar proudly on display. Stock footage of soldiers past and present is mixed in, of course, along with artillery and Cute Little Kids. It's also comforting to know, via the plaque held up by one such troop, that Toby Keith is a TF-1-77 AR Honorary "Steel Tiger" Tank Commander. I was having trouble sleeping before; now I'm out like a light, every night.
Man, it's gonna be hell when you hear Mother Freedom start ringin' her bell.
* = The only thing missing is a cartoon water dish with the word "Osama" scrawled around the rim.