Bubba Sparxxx featuring Ying Yang Twins - Ms. New Booty (2006)

***1/2 (of four)



I've always been indifferent about Bubba Sparxxx because so much of what he's done has been derivative. His first hit, "Ugly," was nothing but a retread of the vastly superior "Get Ur Freak On" by Missy Elliott. Now, the beat to "Ms. New Booty" is nothing but a retread of David Banner's "Play." Hell, look close enough and Bubba seems kind of like a watered down, paunchier version of Paul Wall.

I really wanted to hate this song, but it has grown on me like a fungus. I was at a Starbucks the other day listening to my iPod when I started shouting out, "Booty booty booty booty rockin' everwhere!!!!" scaring the hell out of all the white folks in the store.

The video is pretty funny too, parodying an infomercial, with Sparxxx and a smarmy host selling "New Booty" to an audience of women. Open the box, and these girls get their mojo, shaking their asses with moves that would put the average stripper to shame. Another scene features one of the Ying Yang Twins playing a pastor in a church where hundreds of women testify to the goodness and greatness of "New Booty." Several fall out in the aisles, with others fanning them. Bubba also goes door to door selling new booty to several bored housewives.

After a busy day, Bubba comes home to his girlfriend, who seems to be paying him no mind, until he cracks open another box of "New Booty." And they go to the bedroom, presumably to create themselves a Bubba, Jr. All in all, the "Booty" video is enough to forgive Bubba for blatantly ripping off David Banner. -Guest Reviewer Leon Bracey

R. Kelly - Ignition (2004)

*** (of four)



I love Dave Chappelle and all, but ever since he did the R. Kelly "I Wanna Piss on You" parody, no musical urination joke could hope to measure up. Well, especially since this shit came out two years ago. And that's a shame, too, because Kelly makes it so easy - "Ignition" even rhymes with "pissin." Tragic, I tells ya.

Anyway, I've got my TiVo zipping through the MTV "Hit List" airing from All American Rejects, and so far every video they've picked is rap and hip-hop. Which I think indicates that even the guys in the band know the style of music they release is shit. So here's the remix to "Ignition," which is only billed by MTV as "Ignition" because, let's face it, the remix IS the original. R. Kelly took the Super Mario Warp Zone approach to his music here and skipped straight to the remix.

The "Ignition" video, from softball director Bille Woodruff and hardcore director R. Kelly, is an amalgam of shit we've seen before in hip-hop and R+B. However, since the song is so damned infectious, the video is supremely watchable. Kelly presides over a vast yellow and green-tinted club, showing them all how to throw their hands in the air and wave them like they just don't have any emotional investment in the matter.

Girls dance, guys wave empty champagne bottles around, and when the blood alcohol level hits its peak, Kelly locks the bathroom doors and pulls out the tarps just in time for the Golden Showerz floor show. And that's one more musical urination joke that just doesn't measure up.