Monday, December 05, 2005

D.H.T. - Listen to Your Heart (2005)

*1/2 (of four)

SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE OF ST. THOMAS, V.I. - I'm on Day Three of a Royal Caribbean cruise, waiting for the shower, when I turn on Channel 31 of the ship's closed-circuit television network. All music videos, all the time, and it's basically a loop of about thirty pop hits from the last few months. I happen upon D.H.T., a techno-pop act whose name is apparently inspired by a type of pesticide, singing their poisonous cover of Roxette's "Listen to Your Heart."

I've been hearing vague background plays of this song at work since September, and I never knew who sang it. I figured it was some Season Two "American Idol" finalist or something. Nope, it's a girl and a guy, the girl singing and the guy having nothing to do but stand around* wearing a rimmed fedora that doesn't look good on white folks.

My stateroom cohabitant opens the door to our closet-sized bathroom, looks at the TV and declares of the singer, "She's not exactly cute." I reply that I thought that wasn't allowed to happen in pop music anymore. "Notice there's not that many closeups," says the stateroom cohabitant, clad in but a towel. We discuss the video - dark blue-green photography set in a cabaret with a phone booth that, for some reason, the guy and girl keep going into separately.

And we discuss how the only way D.H.T. could have possibly hoped to get on the pop charts was by releasing an irrelevant, unnecessary ballad remake. And we discuss how we both realize the Roxette "Listen to Your Heart" is a pretty shitty song but a mutual guilty pleasure. And, once we're both dressed, we turn off the fucking 13" cruise ship TV set and head down to the British pub to pound a couple oversize draft Amstel Lights before dinner.

* = Like the sad-looking bassist and drummer in Extreme's "More Than Words" video, except even less cool.